today was the day that I was waiting for, for so god damn long. that reassurance that it’d been a year, and that you still loved me. today was supposed to be the happiest day of my entire life, but, it’s not. today is going to be really hard for me, because all I wanted to do was spend this day with you. an entire year of me, and you, why didn’t I get that? it’s just not fair. baby, I know you hate seeing me cry, and I know that now, because I could have sworn that you were with me on Monday night. I was in tears listening to a song that reminds me of you, and it kept stopping, and I kept having to replay it, and then it happened once more, and I decided to wait, then it skipped the song. if that was you then I’m sorry you have to see me cry about you, at least two times a day. I’m sorry, because I know that you’d do everything in your power to stop me from crying if I told you I was, and you always succeeded in making me smile, and I miss that. I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss your sense of humour I miss talking to you everyday, and I miss dreaming of going to Chicago, and meeting you. that’s all I ever wanted. me, and you. I didn’t care about anything else, now I just feel lost. I’m sorry, okay? I know how much you hate it when I’m upset, but you were everything to me, and you still are. I know for a fact that I’ll never find any other person just as amazing, and perfect as you. you were the one for me, Alex, and I promise you, you always will be.
there’s so many things that I could say, but I’m sure it would come out all wrong,
you’ve got something that I can’t explain, still I try and try and let you know,
the first summer we spent, one will never forget,
looking for any kind of reason to escape all the mess,
that we thought was what made us, ain’t it funny now, we can see,
we’re who we’re meant to be, you still have all of my, you still have all of my,
you still have all of my heart,
there’s too many times I have to say,
I could have been better and stronger for you, and me,
you always make me feel okay,
those late summers we spend, stay up talking all night,
I’d ask, “you think we’d ever make it?” You say, “I’m sure, if it’s right.”
ain’t it funny to think just how stupid I used to be? hope you always believe,
you still have all of my, you still have all of my, you still have all of my heart,
you still have all of my, you still have all of my, you still have all of my heart,
let them talk, and talk, and talk, let them say what they want,
we will laugh at the thought; they don’t know what we got,
every year that goes by, a year older we are,
you’ll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart,
we’ll talk, and talk, and talk, how crazy is it,
someone could waste their whole life helplessly,
just patiently waiting for a love like you, and me?
you still have all of my, you still have all of my,
you still have all of my heart.

- rachael.